Fizzle
Saturday, February 11, 2006
So I failed. By one grade. All I wanted was a C6, and I didn't get it. So my wonderful results slip says that I have zero subjects which have C6 and above.
And now I'm stuck with Chinese for at least another year, until I find a way to pass it. And even if RJC lets me not take Chinese, it's going to look real bad on my A level results slip, where you'll see okay marks and then suddenly one D7.
When we got back the results yesterday, they gave it back by register order, and I continue to maintain that that is a really bad thing to do because people like me are always among the last to receive it. And it's just not fun, especially if you have to go through that every time. You're kept in suspense because of your surname. And it's not as if I chose to have that surname. I didn't have a choice, did I?
And when the people in front (which is practically everybody) came back with failures, I knew, to quote Eliza from My Fair Lady, I knew I was "done in".
Those people shouldn't have failed. They had passing well in sight, perhaps even a B. And yet they failed too. And I know they worked a lot harder than I did. And still I got the same lousy grade as they did, some people even got worse. In that sense I suppose that it was worse for them than it was for me, because I deserved that lousy grade more than they did.
But it doesn't stop there, because I know that while they studied real herd for it, I know that I did, too. I studied harder for it than I had ever done for any Chinese exam. I definitely studied harder for it than I did for my prelims. And my overall Chinese score from RG is 2.4, which is a C5. Not even a C6.
I thought prelims were supposed to be harder than the O levels. Apparently this was not the case.
After practically everyone had left, there were just a few people left in the hall, and it must have looked really forlorn. Yx said that it'd make a really good photograph, but only if you weren't the ones in the picture. It was a picture of despair, of broken dreams, of hard work gone to waste.
Four years suffering with the subject, to be rewarded with a fail. In my case, it was ten, not just four. I have taken it at that level since I was Primary 1. Who said anything about a good foundation? In that case, I might as well have just taken normal Chinese, and gotten a much more respectable GPA. After all, normal Chinese is a lot easier.
When we finally left school, it was raining, not heavy rain, but just a drizzle, not all that light, but not all that heavy either. I thought it very symbolic. It created the mood of sadness and all, and kind of reflected our own mood at that time. I don't think many people got the mark they actually wanted, except Zhao, who got her expected A1. Then again, had she not gotten A1, it would have been farcial. Lyn said that maybe it was the skies crying for us. I said that it was probably heaven laughing (until they cried) at us for being so stupid and despairing over a stupid grade.
Let's face it, it's really really stupid to cry over a grade, but yet on the other hand, no matter how you deny it, grades are freaking important. And it's just really stupid.
So there is goes, hope fizzles.
And now I'm stuck with Chinese for at least another year, until I find a way to pass it. And even if RJC lets me not take Chinese, it's going to look real bad on my A level results slip, where you'll see okay marks and then suddenly one D7.
When we got back the results yesterday, they gave it back by register order, and I continue to maintain that that is a really bad thing to do because people like me are always among the last to receive it. And it's just not fun, especially if you have to go through that every time. You're kept in suspense because of your surname. And it's not as if I chose to have that surname. I didn't have a choice, did I?
And when the people in front (which is practically everybody) came back with failures, I knew, to quote Eliza from My Fair Lady, I knew I was "done in".
Those people shouldn't have failed. They had passing well in sight, perhaps even a B. And yet they failed too. And I know they worked a lot harder than I did. And still I got the same lousy grade as they did, some people even got worse. In that sense I suppose that it was worse for them than it was for me, because I deserved that lousy grade more than they did.
But it doesn't stop there, because I know that while they studied real herd for it, I know that I did, too. I studied harder for it than I had ever done for any Chinese exam. I definitely studied harder for it than I did for my prelims. And my overall Chinese score from RG is 2.4, which is a C5. Not even a C6.
I thought prelims were supposed to be harder than the O levels. Apparently this was not the case.
After practically everyone had left, there were just a few people left in the hall, and it must have looked really forlorn. Yx said that it'd make a really good photograph, but only if you weren't the ones in the picture. It was a picture of despair, of broken dreams, of hard work gone to waste.
Four years suffering with the subject, to be rewarded with a fail. In my case, it was ten, not just four. I have taken it at that level since I was Primary 1. Who said anything about a good foundation? In that case, I might as well have just taken normal Chinese, and gotten a much more respectable GPA. After all, normal Chinese is a lot easier.
When we finally left school, it was raining, not heavy rain, but just a drizzle, not all that light, but not all that heavy either. I thought it very symbolic. It created the mood of sadness and all, and kind of reflected our own mood at that time. I don't think many people got the mark they actually wanted, except Zhao, who got her expected A1. Then again, had she not gotten A1, it would have been farcial. Lyn said that maybe it was the skies crying for us. I said that it was probably heaven laughing (until they cried) at us for being so stupid and despairing over a stupid grade.
Let's face it, it's really really stupid to cry over a grade, but yet on the other hand, no matter how you deny it, grades are freaking important. And it's just really stupid.
So there is goes, hope fizzles.
